While normalizing customer contact information at work, I stumbled across a very curious address.


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I Gave Mel Gibson Eight Bucks!

So I saw Mel Gibson's latest film tonight, and I gotta say, it's kind of a weird movie. First of all: no ads! For everyone out there who's sick of ads before movies, go see this one! If we all band together and vote with our dollars, we can send Hollywood a message - that we don't like to pay to watch advertisements.

That said, the whole movie is basically an ad for violence. It seems to suggest that it's okay to flog a man and scourge him and nail him to a cross, as long as that man is the Son of God. Not the kind of movie I want to take my kids to see. Also, it makes the bold assertion that Jesus was the founder of the Bauhaus movement, which I think is historically inaccurate. Art historians, please back me up on this.

Otherwise, the movie kind of goes like this:

  1. Jesus prays.
  2. Some political intrigue between some guys in funny hats and an extra from Newsies takes place.
  3. Jesus prays.
  4. A guy gets his ear cut off, and the process of turning Jesus into ground chuck begins.
  5. The men in funny hats shout at Jesus, and then other guys beat him up.
  6. Monica Bellucci radiates for the camera.
  7. All the usual authorities show great reluctance to sentence Jesus to death.
  8. Pilate sends Jesus to the movie Gladiator. Russell Crowe and Aaron Eckhart scourge Jesus until a guy behind me in the theater exclaims "Jesus Christ!"
  9. A bunch of centurions share a drink and a laugh with Jesus while knocking him around some more.
  10. The guys in funny hats hiss, curse, and generally stand around acting like Masons.
  11. Jesus carries his cross and falls over a lot. Oh, such slapstick!
  12. More radiating by Ms. Bellucci.
  13. People feel sorry for Jesus.
  14. Jesus is nailed to a cross.
  15. Jesus dies.
  16. All hell breaks loose, or rather, is prevented from breaking loose.

Along the way are so many slow motion shots I lost count, the demonization of women, defamation of Jews, a total misread of Pilate, Herod as a tranny, and violence pornography.

What's funny about this whole thing is that you can read it as commentary on Middle East violence, and how a big badass empire (starring Rome as the U.S.) wants to keep a lid on the turmoil, and the Jews (featuring the Jews as the Jews) keep trying to stir things up by killing innocent people (Jesus, as the Palestinians), while the real murderers go free (Barabbas, as the Arafat and the suicide bombers) to kill again.

All in all, a very enjoyable experience.