Ain't Too Proud to Break Your Arm

In another development directly related to other recent events, I've started taking Jiu-Jitsu classes.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, as a martial art, is designed to take away the advantages a bigger, stronger adversary has. The main focus of the training is fighting on the ground, since most fights end up there anyway. For example, most martial arts have a basic "guard" position from which a person works. The stereotypical guard or "stance" is standing at an angle, feet about shoulder-width apart, hands in fists, the forward fist raised slightly to about shoulder level. Well, the guard position in Jiu-Jitsu is laying on one's back with the elbows tucked in tight to the sides and the knees bent, feet flat on the floor.

During one of our drills last night, we formed two lines and tried to break through the guard of another student, who would try to maintain his guard position and perform a sweep - flip us on our back. If we broke the guard, we got to lay on the floor in guard. If we got swept, the student would remain on the floor and we'd go to the back of the line.

I didn't break a single guard all night long. I am the worst Jiu-Jitsu student ever.

But even though I'm terrible, it's still fun. My only complaints are the mat burns I have all over my feet (they hurt), and when the guy on the floor was this old dude with the smelliest fucking sweat ever, and when he did the sweep on me he shoved my face in his armpit. I'll get that asshole next time, sweep his old ass and break his arm.


At August 18, 2004 at 7:09 PM, Blogger pinky pinkerson said...

Your slang is suspiciously up-to-date for a 62 year old, isn't it?

That new piece of crap Blogger bar showed me 100 terrible blogs, and then yours. Thank god there are a few fun ones out there.

At August 18, 2004 at 8:31 PM, Blogger interrobang said...

It *has* been fun around here lately, hasn't it, Grandpa?

At August 19, 2004 at 8:39 AM, Blogger Sam said...

All I want to do is give the world my heart.

At August 19, 2004 at 1:22 PM, Blogger pinky pinkerson said...

Your heart, or a can of whoop-ass?

Not that both aren't necessary, of course.


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