11.21.2003

This place has been on hiatus for a while - I've been meaning to rethink it, and decide if it was meeting the original purpose.

For those who never bothered to read the awkward archives or haven't been around from the beginning, I started this damn thing as a channel to write more. I don't really do that.

Lately I've been in a weird funk. I've been listening to science-fiction-derived hip-hop and the Sisters of Mercy. I've worked hard at changing the direction my life was going, but in the end felt just like I have basically since high school. Which is that I'm a terrible, terrible person with a dark heart and no matter how hard I try to change that and change my life, everything just turns to shit in my hands. It seems that despite my best efforts, I always find a way to screw up. In this way, I feel a strong kinship with the Brewers ownership.

So I decided this would become a place to isolate life-affirming, positive messages. This blog would be reserved for things that went okay, for thoughts on having a good day. This would be about the ship floating, not standing up to my knees in water, bailing.

I always wanted it to be a place about creation, not destruction. And even when I was trying to be creative, I spent most of my efforts on tearing things down. Funny, that.


Very slowly, I'm learning how to play the accordion. That makes me feel pretty good. Tonight, I'm going out to dinner with my family, and I'm really looking forward to it. I love my family very much, and now that my sisters and I are grown and pursuing our own paths, getting everybody together has gotten tougher and tougher. It's nice to know we still can.