10.02.2002

I miss Bill Clinton. (Washington Post, reg. req'd).
Perhaps I should explain. Many have called Clinton's administration sloppy, but it never would have allowed a slip like this. They were just too media-conscious. Too media-savvy. My honest opinion is that Billy Clint had Iraq under control; for one thing, he'd have had the U.N. behind us by now, if he'd made up his mind to invade. And he would have made up his mind. God, this is so frustrating.
But then again, might we get him back? Please come back, Bill.

I just want to be a Salty Dog.
*pant pant*

This event from last night only reinforced the view that circles of friends don't mix. I felt so silly; how dare I bring these "other" people who knew nothing about computers. Computer geeks fascinate me, they really do, but at times they can be a bunch of drunktards - especially in the way they can talk about NOTHING BUT COMPUTERS.
But I got toasted for pretty cheap, so the evening couldn't be all bad. It's always hit-or-miss with those folks.

10.01.2002

Maybe I shouldn't be happy about this, but I am. It puts a big shit-stain on the ability of the United States to run any kind of "credible" war against Iraq.
I fully expect Bush and gang to change the terms of the argument, to finagle a justification for invasion, but as they continue to change the subject they look more and more foolish. The real solution is for them to say what this is really about. Let's talk about nails in carpentry instead of cotton candy in hardware design. Read me?
Last night, Eric made the point that if Bush openly said this pending war was about cheap oil, most Americans would throw their support to him. Because he'd be totally honest, totally right to pursue his nation's interests, and totally unstoppable in the next election. I felt uncomfortable when he said he'd be behind the President too. And today I realized that it made me uncomfortable because I'd support him too.
So when the war comes, let's just wish they'll be level with us. Okay?

So I've been invited for drinks tonight by some folks I used to work with. I'd love to go get punched up with a few pints, but.
Every time I go out with these folks, they end up discussing some new server optimized to compile some such program so many seconds faster. Or the new release of this software, how it blows away the previous version because of these fixes. Sure, I'm into computers. I'm just not into the high-wizardry of it.
So it's likely that Lee will be done with work very early today, and I could go pick her up, clean the apartment, and I could nab the guy who's embarrassed by my sister, the three of us could join them. They'll all be meeting at Paul's Club (their favorite bar), 9-ish. But wouldn't it be more productive for the three of us to take our discussions over what we have in common and leave those folks to what they have in common? Wouldn't it be more comfortable for all of us?
You see, I used to think so, but that kind of thinking prevents us from learning anything about ourselves. Yes, Lee and interrobang have things to share that I don't already know. Of course. Let's avoid the platitudes, though, and remember that when we willingly submit ourselves to a world that offers no confrontation, we cease to live.
So, whoever's reading this: drinks? Paul's Club? 9-ish?

9.30.2002

I had a fantastic weekend. Friday night I cooked a spicy bologna and made delicious potato hash (even though I burned it a little, it turned out very well). In all strange predictability, Lili refused the potatoes (heaven forbid she eat non-french-fried potatoes) and gorged herself on the meat. Saturday I went to a post-wedding shower that was very much what I expected it to be. I brought fresh-boiled edamame that I picked up at market that morning. Lucy watched Lili while I was there.
Saturday afternoon we went to Oktoberfest at the Essen Haus, Madison's authentic German restaurant and drinking hall. I participated in the yodelling contest, and should have won, if it weren't for some jackass that shouted "Ricola!" at the end of his off-tune caterwaul. What a drunktard. But the beer was good, the music was consistent, and I spilled beer all over some kid's shoes. His dad was pissed, but failed to confront me about it.
That night, Lee had a fondue party to say goodbye to her friend Ken. He's off to Zurich to study little things, like molecules. As one might expect, the food was outstanding (melted gruyere!), and Lili and I were exhausted. We made an early night of it and slept ten hours.
Then yesterday, Lili and Lee and I went to Cherokee Marsh, on the north edge of Madison. Lee and I wanted to look at birds, but there weren't many out. And as James has aptly put it, Lili is quite "kinetic", and didn't want to stop. She just wanted to "get there," despite the fact that we are always "there." Hopefully she'll figure that one out when she's older.
Then I brought Lili home, and Lee met Jamie for the first time. Seemed to go all right, though I was frantic. Last night I realized the full risk I'm taking, and I don't know yet if it's worth it. If it pays off, of course it is. But I remember the last time someone was involved in Lili's life and suddenly dropped out of the picture; it was terribly difficult on her. Then again, along with teaching her how we are always "there" (or "here", depending on how you want to think about it) I would like her to understand how important right now is. It's only happened to me on three different occasions, and two of them in the midst of total despair, but when I know nothing but this moment, this time, and this place, I am permanent and utterly destructable. The paradox is invigorating and beautiful.