9.13.2002

I'm even more tired today than I was yesterday. Stayed up late at the Metafilter meetup. Slept something like four hours. Ick.
I've always been bad with money, but this really eats the apple. I got an email from HR today saying I hadn't cashed bonus checks for the entire length of my employment. I don't usually discuss work-related events here, and this really isn't about work. It's about my complete failure to realize that the checks weren't direct deposit, and now I've got a big ass-ton of money that's going into my account.
The situation strikes me both ways: super, great, fantastic; I get a little windfall, it's a nice boost I can use. Shit; my bookkeeping skills suck so hard.
So if you owe me money or something, pay up, because I really do know, and I'm going to come after you one of these days. Or something.

9.12.2002

Have become tired and grouchy this afternoon. Can't seem to pay attention to anything or stay focused. Growl. I've been getting these emails all afternoon, and with only two exceptions, I want to send a reply that says very simply, "f*&% off."
Band practice tonight, which I am looking forward to. It almost always invigorates me - something about that crowd of people makes me pay attention. I have to pick up Lili from day care beforehand, and I'll probably bring her with. Her mom has to pick her up after class, and doesn't want me bringing her to band practice. She's afraid it will cost Lili precious sleep time, or something. My feeling is that she fails to understand what a positive thing it is to have Lili exposed to music and its creation.
And then there's the Metafilter meetup tonight at the Plaza. I'll go, but probably not for long. As tired as I am, I'll end up punching someone in the neck over some triviality. That or I'll miss and get my ass kicked, either would suffice.

I have been listening to Aesop Rock's fantastic album Labor Days, thinking about work and what it means to me. I did a brief search on the web (Google, specifically) for "work" and found vast, vague returns.
Personally, I maintain that work holds a powerful definition of who we are. While it does not say everything, it reveals much of our personality: either our interests or what we can tolerate; how high we regard money; the ways we prefer to interact with people, be it as little as possible or from a position of condescension; and what our basic abilities and skills are. Of course, there's more to it than even that short list.
Lately I've become more convinced that work has a direct impact on self-esteem. I take great pride in a job well done, but I feel even better when fewer abstractions are involved; the tangible results of work are the most fulfilling. Perhaps the clutter, the paper, and the black holes of the past two years has affected me more than I had ever thought. A mousehole on the landscape has unmasked many illusions.
A distinct sense of accomplishment at the end of the day makes me high, like sunshine on my shoulder or something.

9.11.2002

So I'm not going to link to anything "September 11th" related. Because you and I already know exactly what's out there, and we don't need to see, read or hear it again.
It was a tragedy a year ago, and it remains that. What I find most difficult to grasp is the context this gives to the decade between 1991-2001. Living in America in those years, it's not like things were perfect, but an air of stability and general well-being existed around the world. Yes, there was Bosnia. Yes, there was Rwanda. Yes, there was East Timor. But these were the exceptions to the rule. Now, it would seem they were the rule. We in America are the exception.
Which makes me uncomfortable with the direction the country is going. The current administration looks ready to entrench us further in this dilemma - to take us farther down this road where the USA gets a pass, where the USA makes the rules and enforces them where they are convenient. Yet another reason why I'm so nostalgic for Clinton.
But deep down, I know Clinton, too, was part of the problem. He was better-liked, which helped, but he still sought to extend American hegemony through military interventions and economic deregulation. The solution lies in a day when we bargain from a lesser position. It's too bad we can't be fair now, because when we're down, we'll get kicked a bit.

Yesterday was voting day here in Wisconsin; I failed to make it to the polls.
But I swear it's not really my fault. Actually, it is my fault, but not because I was too lazy to go to the polls. I had to pick Lili up from day care, and then I planned to take her with me. Unfortunately, they require proof of residence to register, and I couldn't find my lease. It's probably in Baraboo.
The worst part is that I was going to hit the Libertarian Party ballot, to help Ed Thompson get his public funding. No word yet on whether he got the required number of votes.

9.09.2002

I can't help but comment on Iraq, the US, and madmen:

  1. Saddam Hussein is likely a madman.
  2. Saddam Hussein would love to see the US go away.
  3. It's possible Saddam Hussein is manufacturing weapons of mass destruction.
  4. Saddam Hussein is not stupid enough to attack America first or directly.
  5. Saudi Arabia stands to lose a lot if we install a friendly regime in Iraq.
  6. Americans generally have an insatiable appetite for destruction, I mean, cheap oil.
  7. President Bush wants to give the Americans what they want.
  8. President Bush is just stupid enough to attack Iraq first.
  9. President Bush has access to weapons of mass destruction.
  10. President Bush would love to see the Iraq of Saddam Hussein go away.
  11. President Bush is likely a madman.